My last night with JT

On Tuesday, October 30, 20007, I headed off to check on JT and sit with him for a couple of hours. It was late when I was finally able to head over and sit with him. I arrived at the hospice facility about 10:30 pm and checked with the nurse on staff at the time. I was told that JT’s breathing was labored and they were amazed that he was still breathing given the vitals in his body and other issues.

 

I walked into the room, got the chair situated so I could sit next to JT and hold his hand or touch his arm to let him know I was there. I had placed his bear, Boo in his arms and told him I was there and proceeded to talk about the days events and chat with his niece Sylvia earlier that day. I chatted on about talking with family, how we had cleaned things up and that Charlie had taken to Joe quite well and was going to be loved.

 

It was then that I looked at my watch and said to him, “it’s 11:25, you have 35 minutes until Halloween.” And then I sat back in the chair and watched him breath for a while and then got something to read. I read for a few minutes thinking that I forgot something, so I leaned over and started talking to JT again. This time I apologized for our arguments we have had over the past couple of months, I said I just got mad because I knew he would be leaving and that he was one of my best friends and it was hard to accept.

It was about this time that the nurse came in and said that they were going to take the oxygen off and let him breath on his own for a while. I agreed and the machine was turned off and the room got quiet.

 

It was then that I leaned over and said, “Hey, let’s go for a ride!”

 

I began with us driving out to Mecca and up to the trailhead for Owl Canyon, one of JT’s favorite places. I described our arrival and the start on the trail into the wash. I told him there was about, 20 to 25 hikers with us that day, and it was the most beautiful morning in a long time. We hiked up and reached a plateau where there were some rocks stacked in formation and in circles and we could see for miles and miles. It was one of the most beautifully clear days we had ever seen. The sunrise was just spectacular and the Salton Sea was as blue as ever and we could see all the way into Ocotillo Wells area. Everyone is amazed at the beauty that day, and are taking pictures of everything their cameras can see.

 

Suddenly, an Owl flies out of the canyon and begins to circle over us in the sky. It just hovers and flies around, and the guys are snapping pictures and commenting on how amazing it is that this Owl is staying so close to us. It is then that I noticed you are gone, nobody else does. I look up and smile, because I know it’s you. I wave, you fly over several times and I tell you to “go”, “fly”, “go see friends, travel, so places, you are free now and can live as long as you wish.” Go, protect the canyon, help those that are lost find their way out and keep those that trash the canyons from letting it happen.

 

I am smiling because I know it’s you and you hear what I say!

 

As I am telling this to JT, I notice his breathing is very calm, almost relaxed. So, I whisper, stay in the canyon and be happy. I can see his eyes moving under his eyelids as if to be looking all around him.

 

I sat back in my chair, tucked my hand under his arm and read my book a little while. After about 20 minutes, I checked my watch and noticed it was 12:15. I leaned over, whispered, “HEY…it’s after midnight, happy Halloween…Go….fly, haunt, spook and have fun. You made it…”

 

A few minutes later, I noticed his breathing get shallow and soft. I looked at him and his eyes were open, but not seeing me. I got up and went to get the nurse. He came in, looked at JT and confirmed that he was on his way out. His breathing was shallow and becoming further and further apart with each breath. I sat down next to him and leaned over and quietly said to him, ‘Go, be free….I am here to make sure you cross over safely” He let more breath out and stopped….still….I could see that he was leaving and he was calm and peaceful. I just sat there, holding his hand. He was so quiet. I looked at the nurse, he said, “that’s it” We called in the head nurse, she checked his pulse and at 12:25 am October 31, 2007 Jon slipped away.

 

Watching this happen has been probably one of the most spiritual experiences in my life. I will never forget it and not traumatized by it. I am so honored to have been there to make sure he crossed over safely and knowing he was loved.

 

To you his family, it has been a long strange journey for you, and the last ten months have been a struggle of love, patience, understanding and frustration. For me, the loss is great to lose a friend, for you it’s even greater, for you have lost a brother, and Uncle. I want to thank you for being there for me when I called at times and for being passing along the love and thanks to his neighbors and friends who helped along the way. Jon is now free to fly and soar and forever be remembered as a kind, gentle soul who just wanted to be loved.